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weird scenes inside the goldmine
(driver, where you takin' us?)
20 August 2030 @ 12:08 am
there's danger on the edge of town.
29 April 2011 @ 10:34 am
Notes on a Half-Seen SyFy Original
I was going to put something else here, but it's whiny and on cold reflection I decided I can't really be bothered to take the time to type it up. I'm going to be elaborating on this entry on the Plurk account I acquired to keep up with my canonmates at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
somarium instead.
For a kick-off, you'll need to be aware of one thing, and that is this: SyFy Originals are absolute bollocks. They're high-concept messes with absurd titles and even worse plots. The only thing more cookie-cutter than the storylines are the characters who inhabit them; the acting, even from people who've proved they're capable of acting perfectly decently in other things, is uniformly dreadful; and the special effects, which rely heavily on cheap CGI, are barely more convincing than a Deviantart photo-manip.
In short, SyFy originals suck. The only thing about them that exhibits any signs of even basic competence is their trailers, most of which are far more coherent and satisfying than the actual movies they advertise. It certainly doesn't hurt that the trailers cut out the deeply unsatisfying opening half-hour which attempts to present the terrible, cookie-cutter characters as likeable and interesting human beings before getting to the point and starting to gratuitously kill them all with bad CGI.
The average SyFy Original has a plot that runs as follows:
There are occasionally ones about extreme weather instead but they generally follow the exact same pattern, though the designated villain is replaced by implausible meteorological conditions and they're about 5,000 percent more likely to end with a clunky Green Aesop.
Tonight's offering went by the title of Stonehenge Apocalypse. Here's the poster. Here's the IMDB Page. This is a real movie, starring real actors.
I am not making this up, and if you've ever seen a SyFy Original you'll know I'm not. You'll also believe me when I say I've seen worse on SyFy. Specifically, something called Lost Colony and a film starring Michael Shanks which went by the name of Arctic Blast, which sounds more like a flavor of mouthwash than the title of a disaster movie. And, bad though Stonehenge Apocalypse is, at least you don't literally see the moment where the lead actor completely stopped trying and began reciting all his lines in a barely-engaged monotone - which happened to Michael Shanks halfway through a scene in which he was trying to reassure his whiny teenage daughter that divorcing his wife didn't mean he loved her any less.
So, what happens in Stonehenge Apocalypse, then?
Short Answer: The countdown to apocalypse is triggered by Dr. Sheldon Hawkes from CSI: NY and the mysteriously-rotating stones at a badly CGIed version of Stonehenge, and it's up to Castiel from Supernatural and Dr. Elizabeth Weir from Stargate: Atlantis to save the day, with no help at all from a member of the cast of the Highlander TV show.
Long Answer: Keep reading.
( I am amazed by how much of this I actually remember. )
In summary, then: watch Top Gun.
Finally, SyFy Originals, when you have a grand total of two minority actors, casting them as the main villain and leader of a weird doomsday cult and his chief mook respectively might not be the smartest move. Then again these people also perpetrated Mongolian Death Worm, in which a bunch of white Americans pratted about trying to out-smug one another while the superstitious Asians living in tin shacks spent most of their time being berated by the white characters before getting eaten by CGI monsters one of the Americans had unleashed in the first place, so maybe I shouldn't be too surprised.
somarium instead.For a kick-off, you'll need to be aware of one thing, and that is this: SyFy Originals are absolute bollocks. They're high-concept messes with absurd titles and even worse plots. The only thing more cookie-cutter than the storylines are the characters who inhabit them; the acting, even from people who've proved they're capable of acting perfectly decently in other things, is uniformly dreadful; and the special effects, which rely heavily on cheap CGI, are barely more convincing than a Deviantart photo-manip.
In short, SyFy originals suck. The only thing about them that exhibits any signs of even basic competence is their trailers, most of which are far more coherent and satisfying than the actual movies they advertise. It certainly doesn't hurt that the trailers cut out the deeply unsatisfying opening half-hour which attempts to present the terrible, cookie-cutter characters as likeable and interesting human beings before getting to the point and starting to gratuitously kill them all with bad CGI.
The average SyFy Original has a plot that runs as follows:
An [evil corporate executive/sadistic mad scientist] finds a [giant creature/mystical plot device] that will allow him to [gain obscene wealth/gain obscene power/gain obscene wealth and obscene power/make a scientific breakthrough via massively unethical tests]. Unfortunately in attempting to utilize the power of the [giant creature/mystical plot device] for his own ends, the [evil corporate executive/sadistic mad scientist] manages to [unseal an ancient monster/unseal a whole bunch of ancient monsters/create genetically modified monsters that break out of the labs and go on a killing spree/magically trigger a world-ending apocalypse].
It's now up to a Renegade Scientist whose offbeat theories were rejected by the mainstream and [a grizzled soldier trying to reunite with his estranged daughter/another scientist who starts out playing by the rules but comes to appreciate the hero's maverick ways] to save the world. Though their plans will initially be rejected by the [scientific establishment/military officers] overseeing the relief efforts, by the end of the movie our hero will win through by [blowing everything up/firing nukes into the atmosphere/inventing a magic Reset Button that restores the status quo through the power of Bullshit Science].
There are occasionally ones about extreme weather instead but they generally follow the exact same pattern, though the designated villain is replaced by implausible meteorological conditions and they're about 5,000 percent more likely to end with a clunky Green Aesop.
Tonight's offering went by the title of Stonehenge Apocalypse. Here's the poster. Here's the IMDB Page. This is a real movie, starring real actors.
I am not making this up, and if you've ever seen a SyFy Original you'll know I'm not. You'll also believe me when I say I've seen worse on SyFy. Specifically, something called Lost Colony and a film starring Michael Shanks which went by the name of Arctic Blast, which sounds more like a flavor of mouthwash than the title of a disaster movie. And, bad though Stonehenge Apocalypse is, at least you don't literally see the moment where the lead actor completely stopped trying and began reciting all his lines in a barely-engaged monotone - which happened to Michael Shanks halfway through a scene in which he was trying to reassure his whiny teenage daughter that divorcing his wife didn't mean he loved her any less.
So, what happens in Stonehenge Apocalypse, then?
Short Answer: The countdown to apocalypse is triggered by Dr. Sheldon Hawkes from CSI: NY and the mysteriously-rotating stones at a badly CGIed version of Stonehenge, and it's up to Castiel from Supernatural and Dr. Elizabeth Weir from Stargate: Atlantis to save the day, with no help at all from a member of the cast of the Highlander TV show.
Long Answer: Keep reading.
( I am amazed by how much of this I actually remember. )
In summary, then: watch Top Gun.
Finally, SyFy Originals, when you have a grand total of two minority actors, casting them as the main villain and leader of a weird doomsday cult and his chief mook respectively might not be the smartest move. Then again these people also perpetrated Mongolian Death Worm, in which a bunch of white Americans pratted about trying to out-smug one another while the superstitious Asians living in tin shacks spent most of their time being berated by the white characters before getting eaten by CGI monsters one of the Americans had unleashed in the first place, so maybe I shouldn't be too surprised.
Current Music: danger zone - kenny loggins
Current Mood: 
all right, that sucked!
all right, that sucked!19 April 2011 @ 11:05 pm
Get A Life
I have been asked to get a life. Okay, that's nice, but how precisely do you go about doing this? I admit I've never been quite sure of the procedure, and my informant was rather unclear.
I mean, I've got a life. Hello. Hands up who else isn't dead. Here I am, sitting here and typing: presuming I'm not a very clever and curiously-programmed spambot, the very existance of this post points to that. I've got a life. If I didn't I wouldn't be here typing this but somewhere else entirely, and any suggestion (presumably made to my headstone or through the mediumship of a third party who'd mentioned they were getting a woman with glasses) that I get one would be both pointless and callous.
It can't refer to that. Obviously not - it's quite disingenuous of me to suggest so. So what do they mean when they say 'get a life'? Presumably not that you - the lifeless one - have been somehow rendered comatose or dead by your inability to, say, spend Saturday nights doing whatever it is it's considered socially acceptable to do on a Saturday night. It must be something more complex than that.
I presume it means working in marketing, and assuming that my intimate understanding of the Carruthers Report means I'm somehow indispensible. I presume it means discussing The X-Factor in a bored, above-it-all drawl, and yet somehow still posessing an encyclopedic knowledge of who's in and who's out, and who said what to who. I presume it means weighing myself religiously and getting nigh-suicidal when the needle edges perilously close to double figures. I presume it means girls' nights out and girls' nights in, dancing to music I didn't like when it first came out and still don't like now, and watching bad rom-coms while eating finger food from M&S. I presume it means reading Cosmopolitan, and not just because I want to laugh at it, and expecting my fiancé to take me to see movies like Made of Honor and 27 Dresses the getting upset when he seems bored. I presume it means learning how the blow-dryer works and cutting a photo of Kate Middleton out of a magazine and asking my hairdresser if she can make my hair do that, and taking fashion seriously.
I presume it means going shopping in Oxford Street, and wishing I had the money to buy a Gucci purse. I presume it means hunting for knockoffs or eBay bargains - or running perilously close to my credit limit buying the real thing anyway. I presume it means spending Sunday afternoons in Clapham being patronized by men called Nathan and Jeremy, who are happy to be seen with me but not to listen to what I have to say. I presume it means bars and clubs and stumbling in late with my ears ringing and indefinable gunk over the bottom of the shoes that left my feet bleeding.
I presume it means reading books and forgetting them and that my strongest opinion, after watching a film, would be about the leading man's smile.
Get a life, in short, is why aren't you more like your sister? in a more fashionable outfit.
And isn't life too short to waste it on worrying why you aren't?
I mean, I've got a life. Hello. Hands up who else isn't dead. Here I am, sitting here and typing: presuming I'm not a very clever and curiously-programmed spambot, the very existance of this post points to that. I've got a life. If I didn't I wouldn't be here typing this but somewhere else entirely, and any suggestion (presumably made to my headstone or through the mediumship of a third party who'd mentioned they were getting a woman with glasses) that I get one would be both pointless and callous.
It can't refer to that. Obviously not - it's quite disingenuous of me to suggest so. So what do they mean when they say 'get a life'? Presumably not that you - the lifeless one - have been somehow rendered comatose or dead by your inability to, say, spend Saturday nights doing whatever it is it's considered socially acceptable to do on a Saturday night. It must be something more complex than that.
I presume it means working in marketing, and assuming that my intimate understanding of the Carruthers Report means I'm somehow indispensible. I presume it means discussing The X-Factor in a bored, above-it-all drawl, and yet somehow still posessing an encyclopedic knowledge of who's in and who's out, and who said what to who. I presume it means weighing myself religiously and getting nigh-suicidal when the needle edges perilously close to double figures. I presume it means girls' nights out and girls' nights in, dancing to music I didn't like when it first came out and still don't like now, and watching bad rom-coms while eating finger food from M&S. I presume it means reading Cosmopolitan, and not just because I want to laugh at it, and expecting my fiancé to take me to see movies like Made of Honor and 27 Dresses the getting upset when he seems bored. I presume it means learning how the blow-dryer works and cutting a photo of Kate Middleton out of a magazine and asking my hairdresser if she can make my hair do that, and taking fashion seriously.
I presume it means going shopping in Oxford Street, and wishing I had the money to buy a Gucci purse. I presume it means hunting for knockoffs or eBay bargains - or running perilously close to my credit limit buying the real thing anyway. I presume it means spending Sunday afternoons in Clapham being patronized by men called Nathan and Jeremy, who are happy to be seen with me but not to listen to what I have to say. I presume it means bars and clubs and stumbling in late with my ears ringing and indefinable gunk over the bottom of the shoes that left my feet bleeding.
I presume it means reading books and forgetting them and that my strongest opinion, after watching a film, would be about the leading man's smile.
Get a life, in short, is why aren't you more like your sister? in a more fashionable outfit.
And isn't life too short to waste it on worrying why you aren't?
Current Music: al stewart - terminal eyes
Current Mood: 
i get ranty in the shower.
i get ranty in the shower.08 April 2011 @ 11:23 am
Taking a Third Option
Those of you who've been paying attention to the Weiss Kreuz fandom as of late may have noticed that it's become embroiled in a fight to the death (or at least to the extreme irritation) to prove, once and for all, who really is Weiss's leader. Omi's supporters point to his rapport with Manx and easy link to Persia, his reporting on his teammates' actions, his devotion and loyalty to Weiss, and the fact he's very clearly the one who does all the work. Aya's point to his cool sword, brooding bad-boy attitude and The Meeting.
I have recently come to think, however, that there is a third, most compelling alternative that neither side in this debate has addressed. It is that alternative that I propose to set out today.
I have, as many of you know, come down firmly on the Omi side of the fence for many, many years. Put simply, I used to think that it was logical that the person who did all the work and actually had an easy way to talk to the next link up in the chain of command was the one in charge. I believed that Omi had to be the team's leader on the grounds that having to ambush your line manager in a car park every time you wanted to talk to him was a frankly inefficient use of time. I simply didn't realize that ambushing your line manager and threatening him was a wonderful way for a leader to show his drive and initiative. And quitting Weiss on two separate occasions in pursuit of his goals? This obviously proves that Aya is such a fantastic leader he doesn't even need to be backed up by a team to get the job done.
Clearly brooding, unstable bad-boys who won't listen to reason make the best leaders.
It becomes obvious, however, that by Gluhen Aya has lost all the drive and passion that made him the truly effective leader of men he once was. He's inclined to the calm and contemplative, his decision-making is for the most part reasoned, and he's clearly been trusted by Kritiker with watching over the other members of Weiss and making sure that they all keep in line.
Which is why I now believe that the person in charge - at least in Gluhen, and maybe even earlier - is not Aya but Ken.
Think about it. Come Gluhen, is Aya challenging authority, forejudging situations, and driven by the desire to see his enemies dead at his feet? No, he isn't. He's sat in the kitchen talking calmly to Sena about the realities of life as an assassin. He's the steady anchor, the even keel that Omi provided in Kapitel. With his own objectives realized, he lacks the fire and determination that made him such a devoted, driven leader in the past. Clearly, realizing this, he has stepped aside and given up his leadership responsibilities to take on the role of team-builder and Kritiker liaison that Omi once held. Aya is no longer the true leader of Weiss, but he's become their solid leader in the sense of being the one who shoulders the burden of responsibility for the day-to-day running of the team, leaving the duties related to commanding their operations to another.
The team's true leader at this point is Ken. Ken is the one who's showing himself to be passionate and dedicated, willing to go the extra mile to get the job done. Throughout their operations in Gluhen he's by far the most focused of the team, thinking of nothing but their missions and what must be done to successfully complete them. While the rest of Weiss attend classes or mark time with pretty young women, Ken's the one on active duty, keeping his mind firmly on the task at hand: achieving their objectives and eliminating the targets. He shadows their targets and their associates, he monitors their actions, and he's at the forefront in the field. Even while undercover Ken is thinking of nothing but the mission, showing the same clear-headed and whole-hearted dedication to his own responsibilities as Weiss's leader that Aya did before.
Ken is forceful, goal-oriented, determined and, most importantly of all, ruthless in the field. He steps up and takes charge in combat, driven by his desire to see the mission finished and the targets killed. And, like Aya in Kapitel, he isn't afraid to stand up against authority figures and assert his own opinions.
In Kapitel Aya's status as leader was made plain by the domineering attitude he took to his teammates where Omi, the teambuilder and nurturer, used conciliation and attempted to find consensus. In Gluhen it's Aya who conciliates, showing that he has taken Omi's position as mediator. It's Ken - the new leader - who asserts his authority over the team as a whole by taking the same commanding and authoritarian tone that Aya did before. As leader Ken takes a firm hand with Sena, hoping to curb his recklessness and keep him safe by ensuring that he stays in line; he even makes it plain when Aya's suggestions are entirely unnecessary, just as Aya was sometimes called upon to do with Omi when he was the one in charge.
Just as Weiss in Kapitel is led by dominant, aggressive Aya with Omi, the thoughtful teambuilder, taking a more passive role, so the team in Gluhen falls into the same pattern. As Aya - now the thoughtful teambuilder - steps back to take on Omi's responsibilities so Ken steps up and takes on Aya's, becoming leader in his turn. It's a beautiful expression of character growth, and so obvious I can't believe I didn't see it before.
All it took was realizing the truth: you can't ask for more in a leader than a brooding, unstable bad-boy.
To Anybody Who Took This Post Seriously: Dictionary.com's definition of the word 'Parody'. Thank you.
I have recently come to think, however, that there is a third, most compelling alternative that neither side in this debate has addressed. It is that alternative that I propose to set out today.
I have, as many of you know, come down firmly on the Omi side of the fence for many, many years. Put simply, I used to think that it was logical that the person who did all the work and actually had an easy way to talk to the next link up in the chain of command was the one in charge. I believed that Omi had to be the team's leader on the grounds that having to ambush your line manager in a car park every time you wanted to talk to him was a frankly inefficient use of time. I simply didn't realize that ambushing your line manager and threatening him was a wonderful way for a leader to show his drive and initiative. And quitting Weiss on two separate occasions in pursuit of his goals? This obviously proves that Aya is such a fantastic leader he doesn't even need to be backed up by a team to get the job done.
Clearly brooding, unstable bad-boys who won't listen to reason make the best leaders.
It becomes obvious, however, that by Gluhen Aya has lost all the drive and passion that made him the truly effective leader of men he once was. He's inclined to the calm and contemplative, his decision-making is for the most part reasoned, and he's clearly been trusted by Kritiker with watching over the other members of Weiss and making sure that they all keep in line.
Which is why I now believe that the person in charge - at least in Gluhen, and maybe even earlier - is not Aya but Ken.
Think about it. Come Gluhen, is Aya challenging authority, forejudging situations, and driven by the desire to see his enemies dead at his feet? No, he isn't. He's sat in the kitchen talking calmly to Sena about the realities of life as an assassin. He's the steady anchor, the even keel that Omi provided in Kapitel. With his own objectives realized, he lacks the fire and determination that made him such a devoted, driven leader in the past. Clearly, realizing this, he has stepped aside and given up his leadership responsibilities to take on the role of team-builder and Kritiker liaison that Omi once held. Aya is no longer the true leader of Weiss, but he's become their solid leader in the sense of being the one who shoulders the burden of responsibility for the day-to-day running of the team, leaving the duties related to commanding their operations to another.
The team's true leader at this point is Ken. Ken is the one who's showing himself to be passionate and dedicated, willing to go the extra mile to get the job done. Throughout their operations in Gluhen he's by far the most focused of the team, thinking of nothing but their missions and what must be done to successfully complete them. While the rest of Weiss attend classes or mark time with pretty young women, Ken's the one on active duty, keeping his mind firmly on the task at hand: achieving their objectives and eliminating the targets. He shadows their targets and their associates, he monitors their actions, and he's at the forefront in the field. Even while undercover Ken is thinking of nothing but the mission, showing the same clear-headed and whole-hearted dedication to his own responsibilities as Weiss's leader that Aya did before.
Ken is forceful, goal-oriented, determined and, most importantly of all, ruthless in the field. He steps up and takes charge in combat, driven by his desire to see the mission finished and the targets killed. And, like Aya in Kapitel, he isn't afraid to stand up against authority figures and assert his own opinions.
In Kapitel Aya's status as leader was made plain by the domineering attitude he took to his teammates where Omi, the teambuilder and nurturer, used conciliation and attempted to find consensus. In Gluhen it's Aya who conciliates, showing that he has taken Omi's position as mediator. It's Ken - the new leader - who asserts his authority over the team as a whole by taking the same commanding and authoritarian tone that Aya did before. As leader Ken takes a firm hand with Sena, hoping to curb his recklessness and keep him safe by ensuring that he stays in line; he even makes it plain when Aya's suggestions are entirely unnecessary, just as Aya was sometimes called upon to do with Omi when he was the one in charge.
Just as Weiss in Kapitel is led by dominant, aggressive Aya with Omi, the thoughtful teambuilder, taking a more passive role, so the team in Gluhen falls into the same pattern. As Aya - now the thoughtful teambuilder - steps back to take on Omi's responsibilities so Ken steps up and takes on Aya's, becoming leader in his turn. It's a beautiful expression of character growth, and so obvious I can't believe I didn't see it before.
All it took was realizing the truth: you can't ask for more in a leader than a brooding, unstable bad-boy.
To Anybody Who Took This Post Seriously: Dictionary.com's definition of the word 'Parody'. Thank you.
Current Mood: 
over-enthusiastic
over-enthusiasticCurrent Music: velvet underworld (gluhen version) - weiss
30 March 2011 @ 03:17 pm
On Icons (Again)
... oh yeah, this meme. I could do that. That would be a decent thing to put in here.
Of course, I'm going to be cheating shamelessly just because I don't have some of these icons. For categories that don't apply, it's going to be either the nearest thing or an icon I just happen to like. Because, you know, I'm a ridiculous one-trick pony. I don't have celebrity icons or non-fandom icons and the closest I have to a stock icon is '... well, I guess I did use a lot of brushes on this one'.
But. It's a meme, and it's about icons, so I want to do it anyway. Because I like icons and may in fact be in the mood to make a few.
❝MY FAVOURITE ICONS MEME!❞
BUMPER EDITION!
How many icons do you have total?
133.
How many can you have?
134. That surprises me, actually, I thought I'd got no space left. Uh... well, I'll hang onto it just in case?
If you could buy space for more, would you?
Uh... not sure. I figure that what with the package deals out there now I probably could get more icon slots if I chose and would actually like to, but with the state of my finances at the moment, it's not a good idea. Something else to do when I have the cash, I guess.
Do your icons make a statement about you?
'This woman is obsessed with Ken Hidaka'.
What fandom do you have the most icons out of?
AHAHAHAAHA. What do you think?
The second most?
... yeah, see above. I'm considering making icons for CSI: NY and Puella Magi Madoka Magica sometime, but I doubt I'd actually upload any of them. Still, I just like making icons, so not using them wouldn't exactly be a deal-breaker.
What ship do you have the most icons out of?
In keeping with my status as 'that annoying Youji/Ken fangirl'... well, yeah. Got a reputation to live up to here!
Break down your icons for us.
I don't even understand what this question means and am too groggy to make it make sense. Uh... most of them have Ken on?
How do you categorize your icons?
I didn't when I first uploaded them so now I'm kind of stuck with the mess I got unless I want to break all my keywords, which I don't. Basically, Ken icons just get a random descriptions, icons with another character on them are tagged with that character's name, then the random description.
Are your icons mostly made by other users?
My icons are all made by me.
Animated icons are...
Like every other kind of icon. When they're done well, they're fine. The problem is that when they're not, their look-at-all-this-blinky-shit-omg distractingness is twice as annoying as a bad static icon would be.
Want to try? Code:
Of course, I'm going to be cheating shamelessly just because I don't have some of these icons. For categories that don't apply, it's going to be either the nearest thing or an icon I just happen to like. Because, you know, I'm a ridiculous one-trick pony. I don't have celebrity icons or non-fandom icons and the closest I have to a stock icon is '... well, I guess I did use a lot of brushes on this one'.
But. It's a meme, and it's about icons, so I want to do it anyway. Because I like icons and may in fact be in the mood to make a few.
BUMPER EDITION!
| Default Icon | Oldest Icon | Newest Icon | Happiest Icon | Saddest Icon |
| Angriest Icon | Cutest Icon | Sexiest Icon | Funniest Icon | Cleverest Icon |
| Prettiest Icon | Silliest Icon | Flashiest Icon | Flailiest Icon | Best WTF Icon |
| Best LOL Icon | Best Text Icon | Best Art Icon | Best Stock Icon | Best Cropped Icon |
Best Animated | Best B/W Icon | Best Coloured | Favourite Shippy | Favourite Single Character Icon |
Favourite | Favourite Fandom Icon | Favourite Non- | Most used Icon (Not your default) | Favourite Icon Overall |
How many icons do you have total?
133.
How many can you have?
134. That surprises me, actually, I thought I'd got no space left. Uh... well, I'll hang onto it just in case?
If you could buy space for more, would you?
Uh... not sure. I figure that what with the package deals out there now I probably could get more icon slots if I chose and would actually like to, but with the state of my finances at the moment, it's not a good idea. Something else to do when I have the cash, I guess.
Do your icons make a statement about you?
'This woman is obsessed with Ken Hidaka'.
What fandom do you have the most icons out of?
AHAHAHAAHA. What do you think?
The second most?
... yeah, see above. I'm considering making icons for CSI: NY and Puella Magi Madoka Magica sometime, but I doubt I'd actually upload any of them. Still, I just like making icons, so not using them wouldn't exactly be a deal-breaker.
What ship do you have the most icons out of?
In keeping with my status as 'that annoying Youji/Ken fangirl'... well, yeah. Got a reputation to live up to here!
Break down your icons for us.
I don't even understand what this question means and am too groggy to make it make sense. Uh... most of them have Ken on?
How do you categorize your icons?
I didn't when I first uploaded them so now I'm kind of stuck with the mess I got unless I want to break all my keywords, which I don't. Basically, Ken icons just get a random descriptions, icons with another character on them are tagged with that character's name, then the random description.
Are your icons mostly made by other users?
My icons are all made by me.
Animated icons are...
Like every other kind of icon. When they're done well, they're fine. The problem is that when they're not, their look-at-all-this-blinky-shit-omg distractingness is twice as annoying as a bad static icon would be.
Want to try? Code:
Current Music: copperhead road - steve earle
Current Mood: 
distracted
distracted22 March 2011 @ 11:06 pm
We're Not Happy Until You're Not Happy
I just started a four-week work placement (all the hassle and stress of a job, except you get paid in luncheon vouchers and travel expenses and that's about it), so this may be a little less coherent and/or well-sourced than usual. But in the face of a relatively recent development in the fandom, there's yet another thing I want to weigh in on.
Some canon defies all fannish attempts to categorize it.
You can be as big a stickler for chronology as you like. If your fandom's canon is basically nuts, it won't actually thank you for it.
Transformers does this. Doctor Who does it. Star Wars is baffling and Star Trek got so confused that it's given up completely and started from zero. Boy howdy do Marvel and DC do it. And, though it's only splashing in the baby pool of bewilderment rather than floating forlornly in the Gulf of Complete Incomprehension watching the distant ships, for my sins Weiss Kreuz does it too.
Which is why I'm a little baffled by Weiss Kreuz fandom's sudden desire - very, very late in the game, too - to try and make the series make sense. Up until now, it's been widely accepted that - while it's possible to pin certain events down - the bigger picture doesn't so much form a nice, neat chronological panorama as it does a demented Cubistic mess. Sure, individual details are discernible, some more so than others, but trying to make sense of it as a whole is so very nearly impossible that rather than try and break your brain on exactly how it all comes together, it's better to accept that things just work like that over here . Best to just sit back and enjoy the madness.
If you're going to make sense of this show to write about it some cherrypicking is inevitable - and, just to make matters more awkward, not all cherrypicking was born equal. But thinking that an officially-sanctioned cherrypicker's take is any more right than... well, than anyone else's out there is, to me, a rather naive view.
Fair play to Marine Entertainment, they definitely did their best. But... well, Weiss Kreuz.
Sure it's nice to have an official view on these things, but official views can be wrong - just ask, well, any member of one of the fandoms floating out there in the Gulf. They - or at least the ones with low blood pressure who occasionally see the light of day - will probably tell you that when that happens, the best thing you can do is just nod, smile and carry on working with what works for you. Because while it might be possible to come up with One True Version of Events, chances are half the fandom will take one look at it and immediately decide it doesn't make any sense. The choices at that point are skyrocketing blood pressure as you attempt to point out why the rest of the fandom is wrong, dammit, or letting it go. Because, when it comes down to it, raising the debaters' blood pressure is pretty much all these debates are good for.
Nobody's going to thank you for telling them to toss a piece of canon they happened to rather enjoy out of the window in the name of greater accuracy. They're not going to thank you for insisting that they go with a version of events that, to their eyes, makes a nonsense out of what's actually up there on page or screen. And they're not going to thank you for telling them to ignore a timeline that, if you ask them, works. Some people like working from databooks, some people like drawing their own conclusions from the original story and backing them up with that. Neither group is doing anything wrong.
Neither group is necessarily knee-deep in canon denial by default. They're just working with what works for them.
Sometimes in fandoms with wildly inconsistent canons, people will have different opinions. And as long as they're not totally making things up or clutching at threads of logic that only make sense if you totally ignore the rest of the tapestry, that's okay too.
Some canon defies all fannish attempts to categorize it.
You can be as big a stickler for chronology as you like. If your fandom's canon is basically nuts, it won't actually thank you for it.
Transformers does this. Doctor Who does it. Star Wars is baffling and Star Trek got so confused that it's given up completely and started from zero. Boy howdy do Marvel and DC do it. And, though it's only splashing in the baby pool of bewilderment rather than floating forlornly in the Gulf of Complete Incomprehension watching the distant ships, for my sins Weiss Kreuz does it too.
Which is why I'm a little baffled by Weiss Kreuz fandom's sudden desire - very, very late in the game, too - to try and make the series make sense. Up until now, it's been widely accepted that - while it's possible to pin certain events down - the bigger picture doesn't so much form a nice, neat chronological panorama as it does a demented Cubistic mess. Sure, individual details are discernible, some more so than others, but trying to make sense of it as a whole is so very nearly impossible that rather than try and break your brain on exactly how it all comes together, it's better to accept that things just work like that over here . Best to just sit back and enjoy the madness.
If you're going to make sense of this show to write about it some cherrypicking is inevitable - and, just to make matters more awkward, not all cherrypicking was born equal. But thinking that an officially-sanctioned cherrypicker's take is any more right than... well, than anyone else's out there is, to me, a rather naive view.
Fair play to Marine Entertainment, they definitely did their best. But... well, Weiss Kreuz.
Sure it's nice to have an official view on these things, but official views can be wrong - just ask, well, any member of one of the fandoms floating out there in the Gulf. They - or at least the ones with low blood pressure who occasionally see the light of day - will probably tell you that when that happens, the best thing you can do is just nod, smile and carry on working with what works for you. Because while it might be possible to come up with One True Version of Events, chances are half the fandom will take one look at it and immediately decide it doesn't make any sense. The choices at that point are skyrocketing blood pressure as you attempt to point out why the rest of the fandom is wrong, dammit, or letting it go. Because, when it comes down to it, raising the debaters' blood pressure is pretty much all these debates are good for.
Nobody's going to thank you for telling them to toss a piece of canon they happened to rather enjoy out of the window in the name of greater accuracy. They're not going to thank you for insisting that they go with a version of events that, to their eyes, makes a nonsense out of what's actually up there on page or screen. And they're not going to thank you for telling them to ignore a timeline that, if you ask them, works. Some people like working from databooks, some people like drawing their own conclusions from the original story and backing them up with that. Neither group is doing anything wrong.
Neither group is necessarily knee-deep in canon denial by default. They're just working with what works for them.
Sometimes in fandoms with wildly inconsistent canons, people will have different opinions. And as long as they're not totally making things up or clutching at threads of logic that only make sense if you totally ignore the rest of the tapestry, that's okay too.
Current Mood: 
i hate mornings.
i hate mornings.Current Music: the end - the doors
10 March 2011 @ 01:54 am
Well, Now That's Off My Chest....
On the other hand, sometimes fandom and the Internet is awesome if only for the things it exposes me to that I never would have seen otherwise. Sometimes those things are genuinely quite amazing; sometimes they're such awesome crack I can't help but love them for all their insanity; sometimes, uh...
Well. Introducing the QUALITY Van.
I found the QUALITY Van, of course, through TV Tropes. Trust me when I say there's a good reason for its notoriety.
Seriously, and people say Weiss Kreuz has bad animation? Sure, it has its issues and plenty of them; I've screencapped it, I'd be the first to admit that there are times when the animation quality in Kapitel is very ropey indeed. But it's honestly not alone in that - a lot of far more popular shows suffer from the same problems to a greater or lesser extent, and no matter how many issues Weiss Kreuz may have had, it never suffered from QUALITY cabbages, and at no point did Aya randomly mislay his own head. And, unlike the cast of Shinkyoku Soukai Polyphonica, their car chases never got quite this daft.
Have fun spotting how many inconsistencies, slips, and just plain ridiculous fuck-ups you can spot during the course of this car chase. There are... well, it's probably a pretty fair bet that either this van never got a model sheet, or someone very plainly lost it long before it was actually needed. I'll drop a couple of hints: watch for the van window and the pool toy. There's a lot more.
There's an annotated version of this clip too, which highlights many of the inconsistencies: I haven't embedded it because while a lot of the annotations about the off-model shots are interesting, the signal to noise ratio is pretty damn low. Many of the relevant observations are lost beneath a morass of irrelevant yammering from the inevitable fourteen-year-old-boy contingent who think that scribbling 'lol hes a fag' over the male lead and 'hurf durf omg boobs' over every scene containing a female character is the height of wit. It might still be worth watching just to pick up on whatever's been missed, but to truly appreciate the sheer quality of the QUALITY Van, the unadulterated version is truly the best.
Honestly, looking at this, all I can think is that Weiss Kreuz got off damn light.
Well. Introducing the QUALITY Van.
I found the QUALITY Van, of course, through TV Tropes. Trust me when I say there's a good reason for its notoriety.
Seriously, and people say Weiss Kreuz has bad animation? Sure, it has its issues and plenty of them; I've screencapped it, I'd be the first to admit that there are times when the animation quality in Kapitel is very ropey indeed. But it's honestly not alone in that - a lot of far more popular shows suffer from the same problems to a greater or lesser extent, and no matter how many issues Weiss Kreuz may have had, it never suffered from QUALITY cabbages, and at no point did Aya randomly mislay his own head. And, unlike the cast of Shinkyoku Soukai Polyphonica, their car chases never got quite this daft.
Have fun spotting how many inconsistencies, slips, and just plain ridiculous fuck-ups you can spot during the course of this car chase. There are... well, it's probably a pretty fair bet that either this van never got a model sheet, or someone very plainly lost it long before it was actually needed. I'll drop a couple of hints: watch for the van window and the pool toy. There's a lot more.
There's an annotated version of this clip too, which highlights many of the inconsistencies: I haven't embedded it because while a lot of the annotations about the off-model shots are interesting, the signal to noise ratio is pretty damn low. Many of the relevant observations are lost beneath a morass of irrelevant yammering from the inevitable fourteen-year-old-boy contingent who think that scribbling 'lol hes a fag' over the male lead and 'hurf durf omg boobs' over every scene containing a female character is the height of wit. It might still be worth watching just to pick up on whatever's been missed, but to truly appreciate the sheer quality of the QUALITY Van, the unadulterated version is truly the best.
Honestly, looking at this, all I can think is that Weiss Kreuz got off damn light.
Current Music: an honest mistake - the bravery
Current Mood: 
i'm almost impressed
i'm almost impressed03 March 2011 @ 09:36 pm
Otherwise known as Hinamatsuri.
Well, I stuffed that objective up. Too much damn interference. I have a better proposition, though.
I'm posting this for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rokesmith.
See, it is, after all, Youji's birthday. And being as he is rather fond of both Youji and of writing about him,rokesmith is soliciting prompts for short, Youji-centric fanfics. He's the one who wants the prompts and the one who will be filling them, no doubt far, far better than I've ever managed - but I've got a somewhat larger friendslist, so I'm the one he asked to post the announcement.
For those of you who aren't familiar withrokesmith's work, his fanfiction.net profile is here. If you've never read anything he's written before - and I'd honestly reccommend you start if you have even the slightest fondness for reading about Weiss as assassins - House of Cards, a mission-centric fic, is a very good place to start, and The Last Hello is a very good example of the way that he writes about Youji. For my money he's proved to be damn good at this: his take on Youji is one of the best I've ever come across, and I can only wish that I was even half as good at writing case-based fanfics as he's proved to be. I'm actually a little jealous.
If you are requesting a fic fromrokesmith, please specify the following:
Please be aware that all fiction written as a result of these prompts will be gen. Awesome gen.
To keep things simple, please leave any prompts in the comments to this post, not onrokesmith's journal.
Finally, unless I'm explicitly told it's okay to say otherwise I'm going to request that any prompts should try and keep things to canon-appropriate levels of violence and trauma. I'm not sure how much funrokesmith finds writing the heavy or even medium-weight angst the Weiss Kreuz fandom as a whole specializes in, but from what I know it's 'not very' and I'm therefore going to assume that he really does not want to take requests for anything too dark. It's Youji's birthday, after all - let's try and keep things at least vaguely pleasant for the poor guy.
I'm posting this for
rokesmith.See, it is, after all, Youji's birthday. And being as he is rather fond of both Youji and of writing about him,
rokesmith is soliciting prompts for short, Youji-centric fanfics. He's the one who wants the prompts and the one who will be filling them, no doubt far, far better than I've ever managed - but I've got a somewhat larger friendslist, so I'm the one he asked to post the announcement.For those of you who aren't familiar with
rokesmith's work, his fanfiction.net profile is here. If you've never read anything he's written before - and I'd honestly reccommend you start if you have even the slightest fondness for reading about Weiss as assassins - House of Cards, a mission-centric fic, is a very good place to start, and The Last Hello is a very good example of the way that he writes about Youji. For my money he's proved to be damn good at this: his take on Youji is one of the best I've ever come across, and I can only wish that I was even half as good at writing case-based fanfics as he's proved to be. I'm actually a little jealous.If you are requesting a fic from
rokesmith, please specify the following:- One or more other characters who will be involved in the scene along with Youji - please try and keep the numbers of characters involved to a reasonable level - or 'solo' if you would rather see a monologue about that particular plot or theme. Other characters involved should be part of Kapitel-era canon. No OCs, please.
- A prompt. Please keep these brief to allow him room to work with them. A good prompt would comprise of a single word or phrase - 'cars', for example, or 'power failure' - rather than several sentences explaining exactly what you'd like to see.
Please be aware that all fiction written as a result of these prompts will be gen. Awesome gen.
To keep things simple, please leave any prompts in the comments to this post, not on
rokesmith's journal.Finally, unless I'm explicitly told it's okay to say otherwise I'm going to request that any prompts should try and keep things to canon-appropriate levels of violence and trauma. I'm not sure how much fun
rokesmith finds writing the heavy or even medium-weight angst the Weiss Kreuz fandom as a whole specializes in, but from what I know it's 'not very' and I'm therefore going to assume that he really does not want to take requests for anything too dark. It's Youji's birthday, after all - let's try and keep things at least vaguely pleasant for the poor guy.Current Music: cathedral - thomas newman
Current Mood: 
hopeful
hopeful01 March 2011 @ 09:07 pm
Stuff I Don't Get, Part 1,397,228.
Sometimes I guess I have no conclusions to come to or particularly deep thoughts to impart. I just have Stuff That's Bugging Me with no very clear rhyme or reason for it. Today is one of those times.
So. Mary Sues. Basically they're wish-fulfilment. That much is obvious, right? Characters like this are, in their purest form, their creator's fantasy life (usually with the totally unattainable, for reasons of fame or fictitiousness, guy of their dreams) written up for all the world to share in. Which is great for their creators, but not so much so for everybody else, because other people's personal fantasies are just that - their personal fantasies.
What I do not, absolutely do not get is how in the world these characters manage to get actual fans.
What is the appeal about reading someone else's fantasy of - to put it crudely - being the center of attention and banging a hot fantasy man? Okay, I get the appeal of wanting people to look at you and wanting to bang the fantasy man yourself: I don't get why you'd want to go through someone else's surrogate to do so. That puts you three times removed from the object of your affection, right? You're not the Sue; you're not the Suethor. You're just watching it all.
Since realizing I was basically vicariously participating in someone else's dream life, Mary Sues in general have left me feeling a little awkward. I really start to get antsy when people create the one 'OC' and use them in absolutely everything they do, tweaking the character ever so slightly to fit whatever their latest daydream is but otherwise making it very very obvious it's the same girl - because it's so very very obviously meant to be them up there, at least as they wish to be. The character is so plainly Their Idealized Fantasy Stand-In it's just vaguely embarrassing to me. Take the creator of this Mary Sue:
At a quick check I count something like five other stories on this fanficcer's profile about this girl Nori Nanba Mutsu. Four are for Weiss Kreuz, one is for Peacemaker Kurogane, one is apparently original. It's so obviously her fantasy life writ large up there that it's just kind of embarrassing to read it. I don't know why the author - a grown woman, but that's a rant for another day - should want me to read it. But there it is and well, okay, if that's what does it for her then who am I to say her nay? It might be oversharing and it might be a bit creepy, but the motivations are at least understandable. The ficcer would like to be a hot teenage superspy who kicks the bad guys' asses and has all the boys wowed. Whatever gets you through the night, I guess.
But where's the fun in reading about a total stranger's Mary Sue fantasy?
I can get my head round Suethors. I cannot understand their fans.
What is the appeal in being this person? What's 'koneko15' getting out of this? Where exactly is the fun in cooing over some idiot Snapewife's pouty, vacant-looking Mary Sue self-insert draping herself all over the object of you and the artist's shared affection like a sparkly rash? Okay, so this girl's Mary Sue is at least a well-drawn sparkly rash and I know not all of us have the time or the talent to put our daydreams onto paper in the way RedPassion here does, but still. It's not believable and it's certainly not at all inclusive. It's someone else's fantasy life in a pretty, shiny package.
Don't these people realize that they can have Mary Sue fantasies of their own and they don't actually have to live vicariously through someone else's?
I can think of only two reasons why people would do this. Failure of imagination, or failure to realize that anybody can do this, and I can't believe anyone out there could be so devoid of imagination they can't even have a decent daydream about a hot fantasy guy. The RedPassions of this world aren't necessarily remarkably talented or divinely inspired. They're just fangirls like everyone else, and it is not that hard to come up with your own Mary Sue.
So these people - the fangirl's fangirls - are the ones I really, really don't get. I can understand the desire to write a Mary Sue fanfic or draw your fantasy stand-in swooning in the arms of the fictional character of your, and her dreams. Even if I think the end result is usually made of suck and lose and should be kept to yourself, I can totally understand why people do it. Because they're your daydreams, and if your daydreams are not even fun for you, then you're probably doing something wrong. What I cannot understand for the life of me though? Is why anybody out there would want to waste time they could be spending on having a perfectly decent - or at the very least personal - fantasy life of their own in gushing all over someone else's.
So. Mary Sues. Basically they're wish-fulfilment. That much is obvious, right? Characters like this are, in their purest form, their creator's fantasy life (usually with the totally unattainable, for reasons of fame or fictitiousness, guy of their dreams) written up for all the world to share in. Which is great for their creators, but not so much so for everybody else, because other people's personal fantasies are just that - their personal fantasies.
What I do not, absolutely do not get is how in the world these characters manage to get actual fans.
What is the appeal about reading someone else's fantasy of - to put it crudely - being the center of attention and banging a hot fantasy man? Okay, I get the appeal of wanting people to look at you and wanting to bang the fantasy man yourself: I don't get why you'd want to go through someone else's surrogate to do so. That puts you three times removed from the object of your affection, right? You're not the Sue; you're not the Suethor. You're just watching it all.
Since realizing I was basically vicariously participating in someone else's dream life, Mary Sues in general have left me feeling a little awkward. I really start to get antsy when people create the one 'OC' and use them in absolutely everything they do, tweaking the character ever so slightly to fit whatever their latest daydream is but otherwise making it very very obvious it's the same girl - because it's so very very obviously meant to be them up there, at least as they wish to be. The character is so plainly Their Idealized Fantasy Stand-In it's just vaguely embarrassing to me. Take the creator of this Mary Sue:
Twin Blade Illusion
This Fan Fic was started by my cousin and then handed to me by him to finish it so I did. The plot follows a young girl that is a double agent, Nori Nanba Mutsu and she is everything but normal. Come follow her in her twisted and hidden world of Illusion.
At a quick check I count something like five other stories on this fanficcer's profile about this girl Nori Nanba Mutsu. Four are for Weiss Kreuz, one is for Peacemaker Kurogane, one is apparently original. It's so obviously her fantasy life writ large up there that it's just kind of embarrassing to read it. I don't know why the author - a grown woman, but that's a rant for another day - should want me to read it. But there it is and well, okay, if that's what does it for her then who am I to say her nay? It might be oversharing and it might be a bit creepy, but the motivations are at least understandable. The ficcer would like to be a hot teenage superspy who kicks the bad guys' asses and has all the boys wowed. Whatever gets you through the night, I guess.
But where's the fun in reading about a total stranger's Mary Sue fantasy?
I can get my head round Suethors. I cannot understand their fans.
What is the appeal in being this person? What's 'koneko15' getting out of this? Where exactly is the fun in cooing over some idiot Snapewife's pouty, vacant-looking Mary Sue self-insert draping herself all over the object of you and the artist's shared affection like a sparkly rash? Okay, so this girl's Mary Sue is at least a well-drawn sparkly rash and I know not all of us have the time or the talent to put our daydreams onto paper in the way RedPassion here does, but still. It's not believable and it's certainly not at all inclusive. It's someone else's fantasy life in a pretty, shiny package.
Don't these people realize that they can have Mary Sue fantasies of their own and they don't actually have to live vicariously through someone else's?
I can think of only two reasons why people would do this. Failure of imagination, or failure to realize that anybody can do this, and I can't believe anyone out there could be so devoid of imagination they can't even have a decent daydream about a hot fantasy guy. The RedPassions of this world aren't necessarily remarkably talented or divinely inspired. They're just fangirls like everyone else, and it is not that hard to come up with your own Mary Sue.
So these people - the fangirl's fangirls - are the ones I really, really don't get. I can understand the desire to write a Mary Sue fanfic or draw your fantasy stand-in swooning in the arms of the fictional character of your, and her dreams. Even if I think the end result is usually made of suck and lose and should be kept to yourself, I can totally understand why people do it. Because they're your daydreams, and if your daydreams are not even fun for you, then you're probably doing something wrong. What I cannot understand for the life of me though? Is why anybody out there would want to waste time they could be spending on having a perfectly decent - or at the very least personal - fantasy life of their own in gushing all over someone else's.
Current Music: the international end title - tom twyker
Current Mood: 
oh look, a trainwreck.
oh look, a trainwreck.22 February 2011 @ 11:58 pm
"... and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze."
First off: I didn't write this thing. (If only.) I am, however, going to be linking to it anyway. Secondly: yes, as the fiancée of the author, I admit to a degree of personal bias as regards its objective quality. But I'm still going to recommend full-heartedly that those of you still in this crazy fandom boat with me you read this Weiss Kreuz ficlet by rokesmith because I think it's a really interesting take on the series and well worth reading.
The Devil's Greatest Trick
Death walks Tokyo's streets, strikes, and vanishes without a word. Weiss from a target's perspective. Oneshot.
I have not, in all my years in this fandom, seen very many fics that focus on what it's like to be one of Weiss's targets. I've seen even fewer - possibly none at all, actually - where the 'target' in question didn't turn out to be a ridiculous Mary Sue and immediately get reprieved by purest plot contrivance, thus rendering the whole point of what it means to actually be targeted by Weiss moot. This fic? It's about a criminal, not an innocent young girl who's been framed or hoodwinked by evil badnasties, and he knows from the start that he is in big, big trouble.
The postrokesmith did on the subject of this fic and its inspiration is here; I'm not going to try and explain it any better than he did.
Finally, if you haven't seen The Usual Suspects yet, watch it immediately. No, you don't need to have seen it to understand the fic: it's just absolutely brilliant.
rokesmith because I think it's a really interesting take on the series and well worth reading.The Devil's Greatest Trick
Death walks Tokyo's streets, strikes, and vanishes without a word. Weiss from a target's perspective. Oneshot.
I have not, in all my years in this fandom, seen very many fics that focus on what it's like to be one of Weiss's targets. I've seen even fewer - possibly none at all, actually - where the 'target' in question didn't turn out to be a ridiculous Mary Sue and immediately get reprieved by purest plot contrivance, thus rendering the whole point of what it means to actually be targeted by Weiss moot. This fic? It's about a criminal, not an innocent young girl who's been framed or hoodwinked by evil badnasties, and he knows from the start that he is in big, big trouble.
The post
rokesmith did on the subject of this fic and its inspiration is here; I'm not going to try and explain it any better than he did.Finally, if you haven't seen The Usual Suspects yet, watch it immediately. No, you don't need to have seen it to understand the fic: it's just absolutely brilliant.
Current Mood: 
stupid openings.
stupid openings.Current Music: everyday combat - lostprophets